• EmilieEasie@fedinsfw.app
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            21 hours ago

            That’s kinda like saying you can pick your own nickname through behavior. Like, yeah, you’re probably never gonna get called big tuna if you never touch the stuff at the office, but not really

            • endless_nameless@lemmy.world
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              6 hours ago

              Not like that at all. I want to hang out with men and women so I make friends with men and women. I invite them to stuff and they invite me to stuff. Sometimes I go to hang out and it winds up being mostly or all men. Sometimes mostly or all women. It really doesn’t matter and the only thing that really makes the difference one way or the other is who is available at the time.

              Avoid people who view their gender as an enclave cause they are for sure misogynist, misandrist, or both. Make yourself open to people who are more gender-agnostic if that term I just made up makes any sense.

              It is a choice. You get to choose your friends. It’s not RNG.

              • EmilieEasie@fedinsfw.app
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                3 hours ago

                Most of that is not especially relevant. Being one of the girls or one of the guys has nothing to do with gender as an enclave or misandry or whatever. Clicking with any group of people isn’t even guaranteed and you can absolutely hang out with a diverse mix of people and be considered one of either or one of both. But it’s up to the group and the group dynamics, not you.

                Being annoying and pedantic is a pretty good way of never getting picked as either, though.

                • endless_nameless@lemmy.world
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                  2 hours ago

                  Don’t you see that what I’m getting at is that the entire concept of “one of the X” is weird and gross? Femaleness and maleness are not in-groups.

              • EmilieEasie@fedinsfw.app
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                16 hours ago

                I don’t think I’ve ever heard of an ironic nickname applied to something that someone is totally neutral about. Maybe if they make a big deal about hating tuna? But that wasn’t what I described

                  • EmilieEasie@fedinsfw.app
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                    3 hours ago

                    Well then all your coworkers do, to, so they’re probably not gonna call you that, and it would be unusual between spouses and other friends but I guess not impossible? That’s kinda the thing about nicknames, you don’t really have much control over it, it’s really subject to the whims of other people

                    In fact, getting a nickname at all is never a sure thing, just like being one of the girls or the guys