My favourite thing about the Bible is that every time it’s been translated the people doing the translations include they’re own nonsense.

Official explanation: The Holy Spirit narrated to the author. This can be quite removed, some books were written many years after the event, some were passed down.

A few centuries later, the Council of Nicea went through all of these texts and decided, “This is real, we can tell, we’re putting this in the Bible. That… that other stuff is fake, yuck! Gross. Heresy.”

They also resolved a pressing issue for the new church. “Priests, please stop cutting your balls off, that is a metaphor, not literal instruction. Even though He said that they were literal instructions, that was also a metaphor.”

“Oh, just one more thing… you can’t get married. No, He didn’t say that, but we’re inspired by the Magic Bird, so mote it be.”

You probably think I’m joking… but sadly, no.

p.s. the church pays no taxes womp womp

Just the fact that he needed to talk to him is a problem enough. I was raised with the understanding that they were the same person.