Due to the increased attacks from Somali Pirates we are being forced to separate our working staff in half so that one-half can fight the pirates and the other half can cook. We are sorry for any inconveniences that this may cause.
(Our Head Cook, Bogwandi, returning fire on the pirates, proud of you Bogwandi!)
Now I’m curious if these are actual posts from an official account, and if yes, wtf is going on there.