You mean “life?”

Another one? Great it’s been a few years. Don’t know how many more chances I’ll get before Bruce dies and I haven’t picked his replacement yet.

My friend is very much alive so I doubt he’ll show up on the list of dead people, I will concede however that it’ll become much harder to do when he does die (but SO much funnier, a dead guy voting for Bruce Campbell? The irony.)

Yeah, the list can be double checked, but they don’t know that I’m Steve for the afternoon, because the real Steve is at work and then probably ordering a pizza, as long as he doesn’t die at work before I cast his vote I’m home free. There’s no double Steve there’s only double me, but one of me is wearing a figurative fake moustache in the form of “Hello my name is Steve Rizzo” [name changed to protect the innocent] and a different polling place.

Huh, I done googled it, and it appears we were lied to, but my high school told us all that was the case. I guess I just forgot that I must have separately registered to vote? Or maybe I live in one of those states, idk, it was decades ago to be fair, but we were for sure told that in order to vote we had to register for the draft. Glad to learn it isn’t true, thanks!

I guess you’re right then, he had to have registered at some point (or we live in one of the auto states). Also probably why you shouldn’t make your signature some squiggles though…

And odd that they haven’t called me on the fact that my actual signature has changed since then, since I worked on it at one point out of boredom.

But how exactly? Only the ones who got caught? Self reporting?

How? How do you specifically know I specifically don’t write in Bruce Campbell for my friend every presidential election because I think it’s fucking hilarious? I’ve never been caught, for all they know he really thinks the president should have a Boomstick to save us from Deadites.

What do you think they review security cam footage? Think the nameless volunteer who has never met me nor my friend is going to notice that I’m not really Steve I’m actually three kids in a trenchcoat?

If your friend votes

Covered that already:

he’d have to vote for once to catch me.

There’s a reason I’m referring to my non-voting friend as non-voting, it’s to imply that he doesn’t vote, so that kinda sorta precludes the whole “he votes” thing anyway because the premise is that he does not, in fact, vote.

they also probably didn’t bother to register.

He was born with a penis, he’s registered for the draft since 18 and therefore to vote since 18 as well, because those are coupled for people born with a penis. Unless he changes his name (unlikely) or political affiliation (for what, to vote in primaries? He doesn’t vote.) Technically he should re-register because he changed his address, but again why would he if he doesn’t vote? Literally no consequences could befall him, there’s no incentive for him to do it. Bro I’m still registered at my mom’s despite having bought a house (which the government knows about because it’s public info), because it’s easier to just drive 15min to my old polling place every few years than to go fill out a form, been doing it for years, and I vote! There’s no way in hell he’s ever going to change that address from his parents’ just to continue not voting.

You need someone you know registered

Literally all 18+ AMABs in the US

and you know isn’t going to vote.

Know any AMABs that don’t vote? There’s one right there. Not as uncommon as you might think.

it doesn’t

who does it, almost exclusively republicans, and how it happens generally, which is dead relatives

Pick one lol.

But how do you know I don’t go vote in place of my friend every time and write in Bruce Campbell because I think it’s funny, and I just don’t get caught? There’s literally no way to know, he’d have to vote for once to catch me.

It’s like my mom said when I was a kid “you get caught EVERY TIME you do bad stuff…” yes mom, every time. Pay no attention to the 500 nights you didn’t catch me sneaking out, must not have snuck out yup that’s it, nothing to see here…

You LITERALLY cannot register to vote without already being a fucking citizen.

True, but without taking IDs at polling places, I can go claim to be my non-voting friend without even needing a disguise.

Not that I’m saying it’s common (nor could any of us possibly know if it was), but it is possible.

I’ve never once had to prove I am whoever I say I am at the little table they set up, “if I wasn’t, then why would I say I am” always works.

Tbf both seem to care just as much. But don’t worry, once we get a different middle manager he’ll get us pepperoni for our Corporate Family Fun Pizza Parties™ that we’ll be getting instead of healthcare.

I’ve known many a cat named after “western” (or whatever) food. Friend of mine has one named Burger right now. There’s one on c/cats named Broccoli Cheddar.

Personally I use human names.

Those are sick! I’ve been wanting to do this myself since I learned the history a while back.

If you’re into weird creepy historical stuff, I learned it from a podcast that I can recommend to very few people but you may be one, it’s called Bone And Sickle and the episode is “Pumpkins, Turnips, and Spooklights.”

Maybe, more likely: “Republicans blocked it again, you have to vote harder and we pwomise this time we’ll actually do it.”

All you win is the status quo, and maybe at that, it can always get worse. Without taking a chance on “not what we’ve done for decades,” “what we’ve done for decades” will continue regardless.

I have an aroma one and cleaning is so easy rice is all I want to eat now, I wonder why the disparity. Do you know something I don’t?

Yes yes, go team! Everything is hopeless just keep the status quo and pray like a good boy, I know.

I like that cool worm guy.

Because people don’t move in coordinated ways in large numbers.

“So having said that, my advice is to move in coordinated ways in large numbers. Vote blue no matter who!”

A literal court case affirming that the DNC isn’t obligated to respect the will of its voters is “just” a “talking point” or “propaganda?”

Methinks your catchy little slogan “vote blue no matter who” is actually the propaganda/talking point, pot meet kettle.

Ya cut off the name! Got a shot of the purple stuff to the left?

Yup. Liberty Safes had a huge scandal when it came out that they have override codes.

Call a locksmith, they can re-lock (as in change the whole thing) your safe. It’s on my to do list, gonna replace my keypad with a dial.