SeductiveTortoise

I’m not really sure if recruiters aren’t at the lowest step there.

Cute paperclips AND using ISO-date? I’m sold, best vet ever!

Listen here, buddy. That needs to be labeled “not safe for IT” because it gave me PTSD.

They really should provide acceptable opinions, maybe as a web service. That would have the additional benefit of us plebs being able using the indices to communicate.

“I think #348-17”

See how much better that would be?

That’s the way! Unicorn power!!!

🦄🦄🦄

The unicorn of consequences!

Is this an engagement PC? Because I’d say sex. I mean yes!

A beautiful one? Lady rock even?

Oh god, I just did. How horrible! 😭

To appease the Brits who are rightfully enraged, I have eaten some wonderful food in Great Britain. I have, however, also eaten the absolute worst of the worst I’ve ever tasted there.

To be absolutely fair, the good stuff was mostly from countries you’ve invaded in the past 😅

“These twelve secret service agents have to get in the ring with me, and they have to be armed, why do you ask?”

Electing… meh. But not killing and eating him and his friends when he showed his true face? I’ll never forget!

If I go out to eat, I can take back my consent at any time. I don’t see a difference here.

“This [food] sucks, I’m out.”

Shit that this happened to you. I hope you’re better.

“I’m not scratching anything! I’m giving intense full contact hugs! Claws included. It likes it that way!”

Why did your house burn down?

It was spirits.

The souls of the dead burned your house down?

No, I was drunk on liquor and forgot to cover my ball.

What?

Maybe, but don’t underestimate my ability to feel compassion for all kind of bullshit! That poor little rock 😭

Hey, if you grew up in those trying times, you would avoid screaming loud colors as well. The horrors!

My city built a new tunnel, below town, and the entrance was at a stupidly complex intersection. I swear to god the lanes changed every other day. I live and drive here for over 20 years, I still ended in the wrong place multiple times across the last few months.

If only there was a way to test if the new path is sound before burning all the bridges behind you. But I guess that’s crazy talk, there’s literally nothing those brave CEOs could have done better.