Sad to say, the vast majority of Americans won’t turn off Hulu and get off their asses.

I used to know people over at r/prisonhooch who would freezejack their homemade wine all the time. That stuff will give you hell’s own hangover.

Plug is in the pie

Oh why oh why

Would I want to stick it anywhere else

But but Obama’s TAN SUIT.

I don’t think he cares. I think he knows, a big Republican sweep in November is already bought and paid for.

All hail, the One Hundred Years Republican Rule.

I’m an American, and I haven’t eaten fast food since 2008.

We also perfected the fish taco.

I haven’t made adobo in years. I must remedy that.

That burner is our last hope!

It’s priorities, Einsteen.

Yeah, but The News won’t cover that part.

My wife would be thrilled. This is her jam. But gotta have the ranch.

TACO

But by god, billionaires can have a jumping car. USA! USA!

Meanwhile in the states, Republicans are taking notes.

Insanely, to most Americans, unaffordable for-profit health care is a flex.

Only the greatest King can give away the ranch the way Trump does! I’m pretty sure no one in history ever capitulated this bigly! In fact, many men, big tough men, with buff young bodies, have said to Trump, they say it with literal tears, “Sir, Sir! Please Sir, let America lose a little, because we’re bored with all the YUGE winning!”

“Oh, I just couldn’t vote for the Democrats. I’ll hold out for True Progressives.”

I’ve got a better idea. Why don’t you eat pork, with your left hand?