i often dream and overthink my past mistakes, some are even so stupid to the point i feel cringe. i know that its already done and nothing else i can do about it but i just cannot move on from it.

i even diagnosed with anxiety disorder, and i need medication just to sleep.

i am convinced that if i know to move on, my anxiety disorder should be cured by itself, but i still lost the fight. any suggestion how you guys deal with it?

  • Scrubbles@poptalk.scrubbles.tech
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    1 month ago

    You can never change the past, but you can change the future.

    Your mistakes are going to continue, in fact they will probably get bigger. I’ll be vulnerable, I fucked up majorly and was let go from a previous job. It was a stupid fuckup, I should have caught it earlier, and it caused real money to be lost by the company and I let down my team. That guilt and embarrassment will stick with me for a long time.

    However, I can’t let it stop me. It paralyzed me for a bit, I lost my confidence and stopped wanting to try at my position, but then one day I just started thinking about it. What did I actually do wrong, where did I go wrong, how did I let people down, and I decided I wanted to do my best to avoid that. So now at a new job I remember that incident, and I call out things earlier, I’m a bit less cocky, I do several little things that I just had to learn the hard way I guess.

    The long point of my anecdote I guess is that those feelings never really go away, you’ll always be laying there at night and thinking about them. Growing though is acknowledging them, not trying to hide from them, and figuring out how you want to better yourself going forward.

  • FUCKING_CUNO@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    1 month ago

    How often do you lay awake thinking of other peoples mistakes?

    My point is, everyone else is too busy thinking about their own top ten to worry about yours, so you are basically the only one keeping that moment alive. Once you can get far enough away from the situation to realize that in the grand scheme nobody cares, you’ll be able to forgive yourself a bit easier (in my experience)

    • shojivr@lemmy.zipOP
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      1 month ago

      unfortunately some of mistakes has lasting effects to society, as example you done a mistakes that ended up destroyed trust of your career or relationship, your reputation hurts everytime you gonna start over.

      people already label you as bad person due to your past mistakes.

      • FUCKING_CUNO@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        1 month ago

        You must run in some very tight circles if you’re getting judged by people you haven’t met based on things you did professionally or while in a relationship. That, or you did something really fucked up I guess

        • shojivr@lemmy.zipOP
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          1 month ago

          i can say tight circles, as example HR will do background check for their employees and your future relationship will also do that as well.