Not going to offer many details on the where or how, as I don’t intend to dox myself, but suffice it to say that I will continue touching butts for an extended period. I don’t like feeling aroused by the act. These people placed trust in me. Trust that I mean them no harm and that I am safe to be around. I can certainly be both while aroused, but I’d rather not have to deal with this.
I’d prefer not to dissociate through work, but I can’t find another way to contextualize my experiences in a way that doesn’t leave me frustrated until I get home.
One time I did see one patient that was exceptionally attractive so I just kinda shoved it down for a while. I did have a bizarre dream (don’t remember any of the details other than that it involved that patient and was bizarre). Then I had to clean their bathroom real fast when they had to move rooms and I no longer found them attractive. Problem solved. Dunno if that helps in your situation. Maybe look into more about how intimacy coordinators in the TV/Film industryhandle things? They gotta handle people who are actually like. HOT.
No, they don’t clean bathrooms either :)
They actually learn and practice how to create intimacy and at the same time to set and respect proper boundaries. But that is a “together” thing. Doesn’t help OP here.
Oh no that was mostly unrelated and intentionally so. I don’t struggle with it because patients, being human beings, are generally pretty gross (and I’m usually seeing the grossest parts of their lives). It sounds like OP doesn’t have the grossness to fix the problem for them and that was the best alternative framework I could think of.
I do not, unfortunately. Some butts are gross while others are not. It’s a frustrating spectrum