That poor cosmic horror. It needs a soothing cup of tea, and maybe a nice hot bath to wash away the stink of having had to be in the presence of private equity.

There is something deeply funny to me about the idea of an eldritch horror having washboard abs

I assumed that its home dimension was favorable to its biology and ours was not, like when you take a blobfish up from the bottom of the sea and it goes all bleeerrrttggghjptptptpptppt…

“The book said I was old, you assumed that meant powerful”