It’s to keep the giant guinea pigs at bay.

And potentially have my penis fly off? I don’t think so!

Maybe they want to start a big YouTube channel.

I am entirely convinced nothing bad will happen if you don’t pre-click the clackers.

Yo soy el Grande Smokio

I had a teacher who used to hand out test results starting from the lowest grade and before handing them out he used to look across the room like a shark in a paddling pool.

I need about three fiddy

Or in this case, Bradley.

My problem is I rarely drink milk but when I do I instantly chug half a liter and gastric ragnarok ensues.

DELET

Ok buddy

I hate that I have to specify but I clearly meant jacking yourself off, not roofied 12 year olds.

I honestly didn’t even make it far enough through that snooze fest to reach that scene.

Show me a guy who sits around the house all day jacking off and I’ll show you someone who isn’t causing any goddamn trouble.

God this movie sucked.

Feet are overrated anyway.

Facilitated by such space age concepts as washing your fucking hands and not drinking the corpse-water.

When I was a kid my parents didn’t let me use a lighter to light fireworks so they gave me a lit cigarette instead.

Reddit is so shit now even spez doesn’t use it anymore

Imagine you’re just minding your snake business when some mouthbreather turns your ass into a makeshift helicopter and explodes your head on a tree.