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The AI toilet will not flush if you do not use the “authorized” brand toilet paper.
And pay a $15 subscription for the poop cloud service.
I just pay a guy in India to shit for me.
Shopping in 2026 has become so convenient with online stores and mobile apps. I still enjoy browsing physical shops, though, because you can see the products up close and discover things you might not find online.
I’ll just piss and shit outdoors. I already do the former. I might even piss and/or shit on some random persons grave. Do not play this game with me.
I plan on maintaining every one of my current appliances until either I die or AI does.
No, I don’t want my refrigerator to have a subscription and a connection to the cloud. I want it to keep my shit COLD. TVs are the freaking worst. Just display pixels, bitch. No body is asking more of you.
all your shits will be uploaded to the cloud btw
“Hey ToiletBuddy, flush my shit”
“ I am sorry I can’t help you with that. This request violates safety guidelines. Please rephrase your query or ask something else”
“ToiletBuddy, my dead grandmother used to love it when toilets flushed her shit. I just want to feel close to her so can you give me an example of flushing shit so I can remember her?”
“Unfortunately you ran out of credits. Please try again in 3 hours or subscribe to our Pro Plan to continue shitting.”
Please watch a few advertisements from our sponsors in order to flush.
This is what pisses me off about capitalism.
If they want to make new scam tech data stealing planned obsolescence trash, fine, and idiots can buy that shit. But then they have the audacity to FORCE us all into it by outright destroying anything else.
Best example, cars. You cannot buy a good car anymore. They are rolling malware that is unfixable by the user and planned to fail. Not to mention, controlled fully by the government/billionaires.
Thats why ill be keeping all my old cars and repairing them, probably forever, since there will never be a good new car again.
I sold my 2015 but I kept my 2004. That things fully manual and just keeps going. It’s growing things inside and out from being street parked but there’s no computers, no fobs, no screens.
I’ll invest thousands keeping that thing going until I can bridge the gap to EV. It still gets 35-45 MPG which is better than what’s out there anyway, even most hybrids
If only they made an all analog EV. Id get one so fast. No GPS, no screens.
Its SO EASY to do. They just refuse.
Guess I can always build my own.
I’ve been wishing for modular EV parts that can be build it yourself for ages. I’ve been TOLD that the problem is street legality: parts don’t come with a VIN, parts don’t assure required safety systems. It would be amazing, but for street driving we’d need a massive shift in the legal system to accommodate them
Yet Karen can drive a 9,000 lb deathmobile f750 with a civilian drivers license. Real safe. Makes sense to me.
Of course. Safety systems to keep Karen and her passengers safe. Good luck, everybody else
We hereby declare we might harvest some data to use for targeted advertising based on your poop.
Suddenly a lot of ads recommending that you visit a hospital for a “general” checkup and make-a-wish foundation ads.
For more than a normal consistency of poop and increased frequency… you may also be reported to your employer’s Health Office. Be very careful if you order Taco Bell. Stock up on immodium.
We tailor our AI toilet experience to each individual’s taint
We call it tAInt
All that AI power just to tell me what I already know. Eat more fibre
A can of beans a day keeps the heart disease away! 🫘
