It was just after 2 a.m. on a pitch-black Friday morning when Bernadette Greene-Placentia’s life changed. The Democratic candidate for Congressional District 8 strolled across a parking lot to repair a damaged campaign sign. It was a routine she’d followed all summer. This time, she only made it a few yards.
An attacker smashed her over the head. She blacked out. She woke up to find a strange man on top of her.
Greene-Placentia struggled to open her eyes. She felt a sharp pain below her waist. The attacker was pulling his penis out of her.
She heard him mumble something like, “-ic bitch, not a very good fuck,” which her mind filled in as “Democratic bitch,” she recalled. She wasn’t sure that was exactly what he said.
One leg was out of her jean capris. She wore brand-new tennis shoes and a campaign t-shirt. Another man came over. Greene-Placentia felt his weight nudging her left leg further apart. She began swinging her foot at him. “Not even worth it,” she heard the man say as he moved away. He wore black boots and had small feet, she recalled.
The two men left Greene-Placentia face down in the parking lot. The hatch of her silver Jeep Grand Cherokee was still open. The car was still running. She heard music.
She doesn’t remember pulling up her pants or picking herself off the asphalt parking lot. She doesn’t remember closing her Jeep’s hatch and putting her foot on the gas. She doesn’t remember pulling her car into the driveway and collapsing into her bed.
“It’s just these little tiny flashes of things that I do remember,” Greene-Placentia said in an interview with Phoenix New Times. “As much as I don’t want to remember, I’ve tried very, very hard to remember more stuff. But that’s where I’m at.”
Completely insane that there are comments here assigning any degree of blame to her for this situation. The fact that it was 2 in the morning isn’t an invitation to rape or be otherwise assaulted.
Hell, I don’t care if someone were nude and fixing a sign that advertised their services as a prostitute. Still not “asking for it”.
I’ve been shocked and disgusted to learn the mundane activities that my wife considers too unsafe to risk. Not just being out alone at 2am, not just being out alone at night, but being out alone at all. I go for solitary hikes in the woods to restore myself but she won’t even walk her German shepherd in an area where she can’t see other people at all times.
I mention all this not to say “these are the rules - women should know to follow them.”
I mention all this with outrage that anyone anywhere should ever feel like they need to live this way. These are completely unreasonable limits for any human being. It truly breaks my heart that my loved one will never know the joy of sitting meditative at a mountain peak looking out over the valley where we live, or know the pleasure of walking her dog under the stars.
I’m sick and tired of men telling me that rape culture doesn’t exist, that rape victims should have done something different, they should have worn something different, they should have not gone out alone, I’m fucking sick of all of it.
We have a problem with misogyny and rape in this country. It doesn’t exist in a vacuum on its own.
Trump is merely a symptom of the rot.
I was listening to an excerpt of Jimmy Carr interview a few days ago in which he was arguing that one of best ways to combat toxic masculinity was to encourage young men to go down to the pub with the lads. That men in groups will keep checks on others within the group.
I respect Carr and his crusade against toxic masculinity, but I am a guy and a lifelong feminist (thanks mom) that grew up in an extremely misogynistic culture. Sure, my friends would have kept me in check, but that’s because we were always a mixed gender and sexuality group. Most “lads” crews I knew, once drunk and rowdy, were more likely to gang rape a girl than not if she told them off. Sorry Jimmy, humans are still way to close to close to chimp to be left unchecked.
Something tells me that Jimmy “Riyadh Comedy Festival” Carr doesn’t take ethics entirely seriously.
I don’t know how feminist I’d consider him. As I recall, he and Stephen Fry both drifted right in their politics over the past decade or so:
“the problem with American communism, which is woke, is better described as American Marxism. And what it is is instead of trying to redistribute wealth, which is a perfectly reasonable thing to want to do, they want to redistribute status. And that is a recipe for fucking madness” -Jimmy Carr
Stephen Fry ended up praising Jordan Peterson or some such, Carr started talking anti-woke politics on podcasts after being “cancelled” by a heckler.
From a student news website:
“Jimmy Carr has built his career on his deliberately offensive style of comedy – nothing is off limits and nobody is safe. His new special, aptly-titled His Dark Material, is supposed to epitomise this ethos, as Carr spends an hour bombarding his audience with endless quips about hipsters, vegans, gingers, women (including his own girlfriend, who sounds like a very lucky lady), victims of sexual abuse, little people, and anybody else he feels hasn’t been at the receiving end of enough grief lately. His pièce de resistance comes in the form of a section at the end of the special filled with jokes Carr brazenly calls his “career enders”, in which he says that few people know about the fact that an estimated half a million Roma people were murdered during the Holocaust because nobody wants to “talk about the positives”. One man’s suffering is another man’s slapstick.”
https://thestudentnews.co.uk/2022/03/03/the-charge-of-the-woke-brigade-the-case-against-jimmy-carr/
He tried to defend the Holocaust joke by saying it brings attention to non-jewish victims of the Holocaust which earned him every comedians highest achievement when going anti-woke - being defended by Jeremy Clarkson.
they want to redistribute status. And that is a recipe for fucking madness" -Jimmy Carr
He’s afraid of losing his own status. He’s a right wing tool.
I only know him for his, as of late, takes on toxic masculinity. Some are good, and some (like the one I highlighted) are dreadful.
Tbh we also have a problem with misogyny on the threadiverse.
Why does this have downvotes? Someone got raped and OP is justifiably mad about the state of things, why do people here feel that’s something to take issue with?
We really like to feel progressive and like we’re fighting the good fight here, until someone posts a sexist meme and you see what the comment section looks like, and it becomes clear a lot of folks haven’t interrogated how they look at women or women’s issues even a little bit since leaving reddit
Some of the downvotes are because I am one of the few voices on the fediverse speaking out against those sexist memes and such. There are some people that don’t like outspoken women and I have a few stalkers that are very dedicated.
But as you can see from other comments, there is a problem with misogyny here. The kneejerk questioning of rape victims is just one sign of it.
I was reading a comment in a post today that was about becoming a regular at places was how to build community. The comment was from a disabled and moderately attractive (direct quote from the commenter) woman who said she avoided becoming a regular because people felt that they could take advantage of her if they knew her routine.
And it just made me sad. Nobody should have to go through that. Nobody should feel ostracized because they are afraid someone will abuse them.
I had, and for the most part still do, agree that it’s generally good to become a regular at a place. But I hadn’t thought of it from that woman’s perspective before and I respect and understand her decision.
Thank you, genuinely, for understanding her point of view instead of becoming defensive.
I’m reminded that there are some cultures where, if people want to reserve a seat in a restaurant or something, they’ll leave their purse or wallet there unguarded. And nobody steals it. That’s their culture.
So, I think when people claim rape culture doesn’t exist, they don’t understand what that means. If rape culture didn’t exist, then it would make no difference what a woman was wearing or what she was doing. She would be able to feel safe and feel confident that nothing would happen to her. That’s so far off of American culture right now that it’s not even debatable.
I’m not excusing rapists’ shitty behavior, but, as you said, this is far more prevalent than many of us would like. Not accepting that fact and taking steps to reduce the risk is a poor choice. I don’t turn my back on a dog I don’t know, and a woman driving around by herself and getting out of her car in the middle of the night in unpopulated areas is leaving herself at risk as a target of opportunity or even a planned attack.
Again, not saying this is okay or the way things should be, but is a realistic view of the world we live in. The talk about clothes or behavior, though (beyond that which exposes you to risk), is completely beside the point. Predators will attack targets. Stop the predators. Don’t be an easy target. Both of those should be done, but only one can reasonably be done on an individual basis.
And no, none of that makes this in any way her fault. That rests squarely on her attackers.
Could you please make a list for us dumb women so we can know what we can do without getting raped? We clearly need some help building our own prisons here.
Did it ever cross your mind that in order to live a free life we HAVE TO live with the risks that come with it?
If i look at the statistics the whole world is a fucking no go zone for us.
Yeah, or how they should not have been convicted of a crime they may or may not have committed and sentenced to the most concentrated and well documented rape culture in modern history, male prisons. Obviously rape cultures exist. I agree with you.
False rape allegations happen, but they’re much more rare than actual rape.
The amount of support prison rape has in society is a real part of our rape culture. When rape is celebrated as a valid punishment, it helps support the same rape culture that supports questioning victims’ stories. That they must have done something to deserve it.
It’s all tied together.
I was not refering to false rape allegations.
how they should not have been convicted of a crime they may or may not have committed and sentenced
Then you should be more clear.
Or you shouldn’t make assumptions.
You’re welcome to clarify your statement.
Which part do you need help understanding?
I understand the memory block the trauma of rape can cause. My ex drugged and raped me in my own home, in my own bedroom, during my own goddamn birthday party with family and friends just a shout away. Everyone thought I was just super fucking drunk, as I had turned 21 and was drinking heavily. I was drunk, but the drugs I was given in the last drinky ex gave me had me unable to stand within minutes. My ex told everyone he’d go tuck me in so I could rest and everyone thought the last of the alcohol I’d had hit me all at once. He essentially dragged me to my bed and tossed me onto it like a sack of potatoes. I didn’t pass out as quickly as I would have liked. The drugs paralyzed me and I was very much aware of the things my ex was doing, but I couldn’t do a damn thing about it. Thankfully I passed out before he started the penetrative part of the rape. I woke up naked and in awful pain all over, but especially down there. I often sleep nude or nearly nude because I get overheated easily, so I didn’t think anything of it and figured the pain was just a hangover.
I blocked out all memory for five years as a survival mechanism and my mental health tanked when the memories came back. It took another three years for me to seek therapy. All of the evidence is circumstantial, as he wore protection or was just unable to cum. There were no witnesses and no concrete evidence other than my memories that resurfaced, me waking up naked, and the pain.
The mental healing has been so rough. I can’t imagine what this woman is going through. Her experience sounds far more traumatic than mine was. I hope she can get the help she deserves and needs and that the bastards who hurt her get what’s coming to them. I will never get justice for what happened to me, but I hope every other victim can.
Thank you for sharing your story. I’m sorry you had to endure it and I’m sending warm healing thoughts your way <3
Every time rape culture comes into the limelight, I remember a party in college where a friend, well call her blue, was so drunk she was pants-off propositioning several people. All of us were like “Blue if you’re down tomorrow, that’s cool. But like, go to bed.”
Not Nick. Name not redacted. I went into their room and cock blocked. Straight to Nick “brother you’re way more cogent than her. This is rape, and everyone here knows it.”
Or, sorry to both sides here, but the time Jenna, name not redacted, came downstairs with a suggestive giggle and grin after we had all just helped our friend James (not his name) to bed, in his own home at his house for a graduation party. Jenna, that was rape. And I said it out loud to you in front of everyone. And you giggled like it was cute.
There’s a small percentage of humans among us that don’t respect others autonomy. They need to be outed. They need to be held accountable. We need them away from the rest of us.
Fuck you Nick. Fuck you Jenna.
Thanks for being the type of person to call that shit out in the moment.
I saved a friend of mine from a similar situation. I was living in a house with 5 people. She was shit faced. I came home and found her in the shower. Clothed. Passed out.
I got her changed (we were pretty close friends). And put her to bed.
Like a bit later I get up to check on her. Cause people can die from alcohol poisoning. I See her door is open. Go in and a fucking guy is in her bed.
Can you believe that !?
Some shit stain that was there for the party, from one of the other housemates was throwing.
I flipped out on him and cussed him out. He called me a bitch. Told me to mind my own fucking business. She was into it. …
He really wasn’t going to leave. I am pretty sure I threatened him with violence. (This was like 20 years ago).
Man, I was so angry. I’m still angry when I think about it.
I remember it was actually really hard to get him to leave. He didn’t think I had any right to tell him he couldn’t rape my friend. I do recall there being a lot of yelling.
I did finally get him to leave. And I told the housemate about it but she honestly didn’t care.
Next day I told my friend some shitty guy was in her bed but I chased him off. I tried to recall what he looked like. So she could figure out who he was. But I don’t think we figured it out for sure.
And cautioned her about Ashley’s “friends”.
She said she got in the shower because she realized how drunk she was and thought it would sober her up. And didn’t remember much after that.
Thank God I got off work in time.
A woman underestimates her alcohol consumption one fucking time and the vultures swoop in. In her own place.
Not safe anywhere.
The fucking nerve to argue over the right to keep raping someone blackout drunk!
Right?!
And he genuinely thought calling me a bitch and telling me to fuck off was going to work.
I wonder if such a tactic had worked for him in the past.
You know I was thinking about how back then we called it “taking advantage”. Not rape.
Like they just took an opportunity that presented itself. An opportunity that the victim created.
Morally gray. But not the same as rape. Which is only defined as when a sober woman is physically attacked and held down with force by a man. the term wasn’t really applied to many other scenarios.
No one used the word “rape” to describe assaulting an intoxicated person.
It was always “someone took advantage of them”.
And I think describing it that way was part of why it was pervasive. Acceptable. Common.
And even now it’s hard to get people prosecuted for rape when the victim is intoxicated.
Like somehow , them being incapable of escaping or resisting makes them willing and accepting by default.
I think in some ways , the rapist who physically attacks a sober woman is at least unashamedly acknowledging what they are doing.
Whereas the rapist who waits until his would-be victim is incapacitated and can’t fight back , and tells himself they wanted it, is a delusional sociopath. These are the types who go after children and teens too. The kind who groom. These predator types are more insidious.
I don’t remember it being called “taking advantage” except maybe when I was a kid and too young to really get it, but it’s really gross that people used to say that. Taking advantage of someone should mean overstaying your welcome or not picking up your fair share of the checks when you go out to eat, not raping someone too drunk to consent.
And I think you’ve got a great point there about the psychology of these people. I’m particularly aware of and concerned with sexual violence stemming from self delusion due to ways in which I’ve been victimized. These people seem to be the sort unable to handle a no or to do the flirtatious dance of figuring out that it’ll probably be a yes before they ask. So rather than finding someone who would say yes or becoming someone more people would say yes to, they find a person too drunk to consent, or someone too inexperienced to know better (especially minors), or they try to manipulate/pressure a no into a yes, or whatever other way that isn’t just straightforward finding someone who actually wants you.
I can already hear the Republicans making fucked up jokes about this.
You can read them too, right under this story in the comments.
Fellow men:
Believe women. Do not allow mysogyny in your circles. Don’t even laugh at the jokes. Speak out. When you hear people talk about having harmed a woman or planning to, report it. Don’t just go on the internet and say you’re a feminist or support women - actually do it, every day.
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This is so fucked up. The events suggest she was being survielled so the attackers knew her routine. It follows they intentionally damaged the sign knowing she would go out in the middle of the night to fix it (she said herself it was a routine). Also they picked a sign that wasn’t near a camera.
Not only are they rapists, they’re terrorists (because it’s pollitically motivated). Are there more people insthe group? Are they being funded? Who’s giving them money?
What’s really fucked up, is that the FBI should investigate this, but they won’t because they, like other parts of the government are compromised (by MAGA).
I went to Fox News to read the comment section about this. It’s as expected - vile and calling her a liar.
This is a horrific story. We need stronger laws surrounding rape. I guarantee you, that if republican men were being raped, we would have death penalty laws against rape.
I hope she succeeds in life, and that those two men are killed. Rapists, just like unjustifiable killers, have no place among humanity.
This is horrific, and sounds like actual terrorism in that it is a violent act with an apparent political motive. I hope she is safe and gets justice for what was done to her.
It’s a shame she didn’t go directly to the hospital to get a rape kit. Might be able to catch these guys, but now I imagine it’s basically impossible. Maybe some cameras around hopefully.
Part of talking about these issues, talking about rape and how we treat rape victims, is about pushing away the embarrassment and shame that comes with being victimized in this way.
We all play a part as to why she felt uncomfortable coming forward with this info right away.
It’s not her fault that she responded the way she did. It was a trauma response.
It’s also important to understand that the unfortunate reality is that even if we get there some people will immediately move towards trying to be ok rather than prioritizing stuff like calling the cops and gathering evidence. Taking a shower, disassociating, and trying to keep moving forward without acknowledging what happened are all behaviors we need to be understanding and sympathetic towards even if we as fellow citizens and justice oriented people do wish that more evidence had been collected.
And that’s all ignoring the fact that rape kits are rarely even tested. It’s still worth getting one done if you’re a victim. But victims and non victims alike should be demanding better on this front.
Very good points, thank you!
Make conservatism disappear and rape will vanish with it. Strange how that works.
This is a fallacy. There are rapists in every political sphere out there.
Make patriarchy disappear and rape will diminish.
The thing I’m trying to understand about this is why the hell is she out at 2:00 in the morning fixing signs. Regardless if it’s a billion degrees in Arizona or not. I don’t do shit at 2:00 in the morning because the world is fucked up. I wish more women would go after rapists. The DNA swap might prevent him from doing it to other women.
It wouldn’t matter if she was buck naked in the middle of Octoberfest no one has the right to touch anyone without their consent.
Agreed, but we live in a sick world… I don’t ride my bike after midnight anymore even though I really loved my night rides. People on the trails take over after 11 and I had a few try to mug me.
I’m 6’5" so once they saw that they backed off… Scared the fuck out of me.
The world sucks sometimes… And statistically this is less likely to happen in the daytime
Edit: down vote if you want. I 100% agree with the fact NOBODY should be raped. I have 3 daughters myself and it’s a very real fear in my mind.
Than you should know that if your daughter gets raped she will think about what you said about the thing she was doing at the time of her rape and she will feel guilty.
By questioning a victims choices you are legitamizing their rape, a message heard loud and clear by the perpetrater as well. No amount of “off course it is never okay” is going to change what message you are sending.
