Some men don’t know what women look like without make-up, but plenty of men genuinely prefer women without make-up. They certainly don’t care about fashion. Glasses are rarely a turn-off. Plenty like retainers/braces.
It’s not unlikely the college room-mate thought she was at her ugliest, when in reality she’d turned herself into catnip for her future husband.
It’s a bit like guys who think women will find them attractive if they become a roided out super monster, but in reality they’ll only attract interest (sexual or otherwise) from other guys.
Well, it’s sometimes exciting to be let into that level of intimacy, but it kinda presupposes a woman who normally has a fairly complex hair/makeup routine letting you see her without it. If going without makeup is the norm, then it’s not that intimate to be able to see the norm.
Obviously, peering at someone’s ass can lean towards creepy or voyeuristic. Any woman knows this - many changed over to squatting to pick things up even when alone. So, if she’s okay with a full bend, even if the guy barely even looks, it’s a separate “trust kink” - that she knows he’s there and doesn’t anticipate his mind objectifying her that way.
That’s not really what I meant; just that passed-down wisdom often leads women to caution each other it’s a common (albeit undeserved) consequence.
I wrote “Not anticipating his objectification” rather than “Not looking” because it’s often difficult to specifically make sure someone is fully outside your field of vision the moment they reach for something on the ground.
Women should be able to pick things off the floor without having to think of how many different ways they can do so that isn’t an open invitation for men to ogle their ass.
Just because a woman bends at the waist instead of squatting doesn’t mean she’s inviting wandering eyes.
Any woman knows this - many changed over to squatting to pick things up even when alone. So, if she’s okay with a full bend, even if the guy barely even looks, it’s a separate “trust kink” - that she knows he’s there and doesn’t anticipate his mind objectifying her that way.
What does any woman know? What is a woman communicating if she’s okay with a full bend?
Obviously, peering at someone’s ass can lean towards creepy or voyeuristic.
(The part of the quote you snipped out). Bending over is easier, but many women change to squatting, a trickier action, specifically because of how they’re viewed when doing so.
So, if a woman is in the vicinity of a guy, and chooses to bend over, she’s communicating that she at least trusts that person enough not to ogle or objectify her. Guys don’t experience a lot of trust from women in the modern day (generally for understandable reasons) so it’s touching for them to know when people feel safe around them.
I’m sorry that wasn’t communicated well; but I appreciate you asking for clarification.
Men care about a specific silhouette range, and specific disqualifing facial features, and then sometimes horrible personalities, and that is the total sum. Each one of those things is somewhat negotiable if other aspects are superior as well. And the bar lowers depending on the last time they’ve finished, unless it’s been too long, then the bar goes back to baseline. Nobody is that complicated.
It is specifically reductionist and true almost always, so I don’t consider that demeaning. Everyone wants to think they are more complex or considering but most innate decisions just aren’t. People just are delusional and not introspective at all.
Women don’t know what men find attractive.
Some men don’t know what women look like without make-up, but plenty of men genuinely prefer women without make-up. They certainly don’t care about fashion. Glasses are rarely a turn-off. Plenty like retainers/braces.
It’s not unlikely the college room-mate thought she was at her ugliest, when in reality she’d turned herself into catnip for her future husband.
It’s a bit like guys who think women will find them attractive if they become a roided out super monster, but in reality they’ll only attract interest (sexual or otherwise) from other guys.
It’s also kinda hot when a woman lets you see her without being all done up. It’s like a secret privilege of trust.
And it shows she not insecure about it. Confidence is attractive.
Well, it’s sometimes exciting to be let into that level of intimacy, but it kinda presupposes a woman who normally has a fairly complex hair/makeup routine letting you see her without it. If going without makeup is the norm, then it’s not that intimate to be able to see the norm.
I’ve felt the same way about women bending over.
Obviously, peering at someone’s ass can lean towards creepy or voyeuristic. Any woman knows this - many changed over to squatting to pick things up even when alone. So, if she’s okay with a full bend, even if the guy barely even looks, it’s a separate “trust kink” - that she knows he’s there and doesn’t anticipate his mind objectifying her that way.
My wife will scold me for not looking. I love her for that.
Oh my god, you think women bending at the waist is a deliberate invitation to look at their ass?
That’s not really what I meant; just that passed-down wisdom often leads women to caution each other it’s a common (albeit undeserved) consequence.
I wrote “Not anticipating his objectification” rather than “Not looking” because it’s often difficult to specifically make sure someone is fully outside your field of vision the moment they reach for something on the ground.
Women should be able to pick things off the floor without having to think of how many different ways they can do so that isn’t an open invitation for men to ogle their ass.
Just because a woman bends at the waist instead of squatting doesn’t mean she’s inviting wandering eyes.
All of that is true, and doesn’t contradict what I was saying at all.
I wasn’t interpreting anything as an “open invitation”.
What does any woman know? What is a woman communicating if she’s okay with a full bend?
Please elaborate.
A woman knows that:
(The part of the quote you snipped out). Bending over is easier, but many women change to squatting, a trickier action, specifically because of how they’re viewed when doing so.
So, if a woman is in the vicinity of a guy, and chooses to bend over, she’s communicating that she at least trusts that person enough not to ogle or objectify her. Guys don’t experience a lot of trust from women in the modern day (generally for understandable reasons) so it’s touching for them to know when people feel safe around them.
I’m sorry that wasn’t communicated well; but I appreciate you asking for clarification.
Men care about a specific silhouette range, and specific disqualifing facial features, and then sometimes horrible personalities, and that is the total sum. Each one of those things is somewhat negotiable if other aspects are superior as well. And the bar lowers depending on the last time they’ve finished, unless it’s been too long, then the bar goes back to baseline. Nobody is that complicated.
This seems demeaning and reductionist to both men AND women, which I feel is like an achievement in itself. Well done.
It is specifically reductionist and true almost always, so I don’t consider that demeaning. Everyone wants to think they are more complex or considering but most innate decisions just aren’t. People just are delusional and not introspective at all.
It sounds like you have let your negative experiences taint your worldview.
It’s not uncommon. My wife was cheated on a bunch, so it’s very hard for her to accept that I have no interest in other women.
If you’ve experienced a bunch of rejection by men over your looks, it would also very hard to not assume that every man thinks this way.
Both are mostly just confirmation bias, though.
Unlike you, the smartest of the intellectuals.
I could see your criteria there as a generalized filter for a second date, but nobody is making decisions about life partners based on that.
I can’t imagine why you’d have trouble landing a quality relationship with that shining personality