good looking people look good no matter what they wear.
Like a hot guy with a trilby hat and a Naruto tshirt can still pull game. While a ugly neckbeard in an expensive suit would still have a difficult time getting a single date.
Confidence is attractive, and she had plenty of it
So what would happen if a hot guy got a neckbeard 🤔
Confidence is key, as long as he knows he looks good and wears it as such, he’ll still pull.
Src: have been pulled by hot guys with neckbeards
Has the “neckbeard” considered personal hygiene, and more clean shaven before thinking about expensive suit?
As an ugly ass fat beardo: There are (even conventionally attractive) girls out there that go for me. Personal hygiene and a good personality really do much of the work for what little success I have. And while I prefer the ugly ass comfy clothes I wear at home, the effect nice clothes have on my confidence absolutely helps.
It’s still difficult finding someone. We’re all just monkeys in the end and no matter what good things you bring to the table, looking good on top of it absolutely does not hurt and nice clothes are part of that consideration just like hygiene and a sharp trim.
While I get your point, beauty standards are still a thing, and can’t be fixed with personal hygiene.
I’d still go after that dork
I’d only go after that dork.
Not going to lie. I would be SO attracted to that. I am so very into people that can be their genuine self without pretending to be what society expects.
You wanna live like common people do?
Don’t quote William Shatner at me!
Wtf did I just listen to. I am besides my self that I had no idea this existed. Thank you
You’re going to want to check out the rest of that album then. Especially this one https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=RGxqW2TDw4E
yOu LooK sO mUcH beTTeR wItHoUt MakEuP type performative nonsense
yOu LooK sO mUcH beTTeR wItHoUt MakEuP type performative nonsense
Don’t you DARE pretend to know me and then get offended by the things you made up.
You need to seriously take a look at yourself in the mirror and figure out why you’re acting like an ass right now.
Whatever you say buddy pickme.
Nothing about that comment mentioned makeup.
Damn straight. It’s the Grinch PJ’s that are doing it for me.
They stay during sex.
That’s not the deal breaker you think it is.
I never thought they were.
I hope it has a booty hatch lol
Make one ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
As do the Grinch Crocs.
No, because they’re footie pajamas. No crocs. (This time.)
But wearing Crocs with them would make it even more cursed haha.
Jeez if only there was a word in there to clue in even the dumbest moron on the planet that it’s a comparison.
Jeez, if only you just accepted that different people have different tastes instead of calling it performative.
Women don’t know what men find attractive.
Some men don’t know what women look like without make-up, but plenty of men genuinely prefer women without make-up. They certainly don’t care about fashion. Glasses are rarely a turn-off. Plenty like retainers/braces.
It’s not unlikely the college room-mate thought she was at her ugliest, when in reality she’d turned herself into catnip for her future husband.
It’s a bit like guys who think women will find them attractive if they become a roided out super monster, but in reality they’ll only attract interest (sexual or otherwise) from other guys.
It’s also kinda hot when a woman lets you see her without being all done up. It’s like a secret privilege of trust.
And it shows she not insecure about it. Confidence is attractive.
Well, it’s sometimes exciting to be let into that level of intimacy, but it kinda presupposes a woman who normally has a fairly complex hair/makeup routine letting you see her without it. If going without makeup is the norm, then it’s not that intimate to be able to see the norm.
I’ve felt the same way about women bending over.
Obviously, peering at someone’s ass can lean towards creepy or voyeuristic. Any woman knows this - many changed over to squatting to pick things up even when alone. So, if she’s okay with a full bend, even if the guy barely even looks, it’s a separate “trust kink” - that she knows he’s there and doesn’t anticipate his mind objectifying her that way.
My wife will scold me for not looking. I love her for that.
Oh my god, you think women bending at the waist is a deliberate invitation to look at their ass?
That’s not really what I meant; just that passed-down wisdom often leads women to caution each other it’s a common (albeit undeserved) consequence.
I wrote “Not anticipating his objectification” rather than “Not looking” because it’s often difficult to specifically make sure someone is fully outside your field of vision the moment they reach for something on the ground.
Women should be able to pick things off the floor without having to think of how many different ways they can do so that isn’t an open invitation for men to ogle their ass.
Just because a woman bends at the waist instead of squatting doesn’t mean she’s inviting wandering eyes.
All of that is true, and doesn’t contradict what I was saying at all.
I wasn’t interpreting anything as an “open invitation”.
Any woman knows this - many changed over to squatting to pick things up even when alone. So, if she’s okay with a full bend, even if the guy barely even looks, it’s a separate “trust kink” - that she knows he’s there and doesn’t anticipate his mind objectifying her that way.
What does any woman know? What is a woman communicating if she’s okay with a full bend?
Please elaborate.
Men care about a specific silhouette range, and specific disqualifing facial features, and then sometimes horrible personalities, and that is the total sum. Each one of those things is somewhat negotiable if other aspects are superior as well. And the bar lowers depending on the last time they’ve finished, unless it’s been too long, then the bar goes back to baseline. Nobody is that complicated.
This seems demeaning and reductionist to both men AND women, which I feel is like an achievement in itself. Well done.
It is specifically reductionist and true almost always, so I don’t consider that demeaning. Everyone wants to think they are more complex or considering but most innate decisions just aren’t. People just are delusional and not introspective at all.
I could see your criteria there as a generalized filter for a second date, but nobody is making decisions about life partners based on that.
It sounds like you have let your negative experiences taint your worldview.
It’s not uncommon. My wife was cheated on a bunch, so it’s very hard for her to accept that I have no interest in other women.
If you’ve experienced a bunch of rejection by men over your looks, it would also very hard to not assume that every man thinks this way.
Both are mostly just confirmation bias, though.
Unlike you, the smartest of the intellectuals.
I can’t imagine why you’d have trouble landing a quality relationship with that shining personality
I swear some women are as clueless about men as men are about women. I’m sure huge amount of this is because schools insist that sexed is gender separated.
Why is wearing glasses and pyjamas supposed to be a turn-off?
You know when women go on about how they have to have a different dress for every party, it is literally only women the care. Men aren’t going to even notice if you’re wearing the same thing two dates in a row. The catty comments come from other women. As a man I don’t have nice clothes, I just have clothes. If we’re going on a date I’m just going to be wearing clothes, I don’t have special items that I only wear on a date so I am really not going to mind if you don’t either.
She’s gorgeous, university educated, funny, but I can’t believe she’d wear those shoes to 2 consecutive social gatherings! No way I’m touching that pussy now.
I had an ex at one time who would get mad that I didn’t check out other women.
Like, she would assume I was doing it, but then when she realized I wasn’t it would turn into a fight about how I’m not and every guy does.
When I’m in a relationship I really don’t have eyes for anyone else. The need to find someone just kinda turns off.
She would also get mad and start a fight whenever I said she looked good without makeup, because I was a liar.
After that relationship, self confidence became a huge checkbox I reviewed before entering any possible relationship.
I hate makeup… i have told my wife for over a decade that I dont care for it and it looks worse in my opinion. She has mostly stopped wearing it or will do a small amount for big parties and thats it. She tells me to this day she doesnt believe me though and all I can say is that’s super sad.
Maybe she likes to wear makeup for herself?
Nope, this one was directly from growing up in a home where her own mother basically brainwashed her kids into a lot of things, and the idea of makeup being the only way to truly feel beatiful was one of them. Convinced her that it’s what guys want her entire life umong other things…
Obviously if it was something sbe enjoyed doing and liked it as a hobby then yeah go for it. This was definitely not that though and was truly shocked when finding out it was not a necessity and for the most part something not all men find attractive.
Also she still wears it, just on special occasions instead of every day which was crazy to me to put in all that time. Also uses way less as well when she does. Im pretty sure she was relieved even if she doesn’t truly believe me. Some parents really suck…
That’s a relief that she isn’t being asked to suppress something she enjoys and that you’re reinforcing that it’s safe for her to be as she wants to be. Thanks for expanding on your story and for being a good husband :)
Wellll, I don’t know if I would go that far haha. We are currently in the middle of a divorce. Nothing related to this of course. But we have been unhappy and trying for a few years now and finally said enough recently. 13 years and soon to be starting over. From what I see it’s crazy out there. I may just take the easy route and stay single for the remainder of my life lol.
Oh I feel you, fellow divorcee. The two of you were successful for a long time!
It’s a little crazy, but it’s also fun and wild and different and deep and full of laughter if you approach it simply as being curious about other people and not so much on finding a soul mate. Staying single and dating yourself is real nice, too, definitely don’t underestimate that either :)
Try being a woman for a change and maybe you’ll understand it bud.
Yep I’ll get right on that. Sex change operation might have to wait until Monday though.
Dude no shade. But also not all dudes are the same.
For example, I care what a girl wears. I don’t care if she wears it many times, but I care if she dresses nicely and works on looking nice. Also I have multiple suits, different clothes for sports, work, camping etc.
I’m kind of in between you two… I find people attractive when they appear to be comfortable in their own skin. If that’s in a hoodie and ripped jeans and combat boots, hell yeah. If she’s a “girly girl” and you can tell she just really genuinely enjoys dolling up and having everything look on point, also hell yeah.
Yeah but PJs are sexy. If she is comfortable wearing pyjamas around me that’s great in my opinion. I’m unclear about how exactly this is supposed to be something I would be turned off by, and why that is therefore “a filter”.
Congrats you would pass her test.
Yes, but when did she show her ugliest? Some time later, or…?
Woman displays extreme confidence in trusting her date with her authentic self. Surprised pepe when they appreciate that.
Of course if your authentic self is dressed to the nines all day every day then go off queen
Partner: (in footie Grinch pajamas) We live in a cynical world, a cynical, cynical world, and we work in a business of tough competitors. I love you. You complete me. And if I just had…
Me: (interrupting) Shut up. Just shut up…You had me at footie Grinch pajamas. You had me at footie Grinch pajamas.
I use a wheelchair a lot. I used to be shy about it and try to come up with a way to have the first time someone saw me be on my feet.
Now I’m the other way around, I want prospective lovers to see me in my chair first. Learned that if they can’t get past that, it’s not gonna work.
I’m meeting much nicer people. And I’m actually doing better at meeting people at parties.
Crazy how being comfortable with a mobility device is more appealing than leaning on a cane with a pained expression on your face. 😲
Do you have advice for meeting people? My cousin is having to use a wheelchair now, and she says as soon as guys find out, they’re gone.
impress em with a wheelie
Were people generally accepting of your ambulatory wheelchair status? In my experience people assume that if I have a wheelchair I must be super-glued to it at all times, and make weird comments if I ever stand up
Yeah, people have been super cool about it at furry stuff and kink stuff. But both of those scenes attract people who are able to understand that you can’t fit everybody in a box.
Funny, because the kinkies and furries I know would love a chance to squeeze as many people as possible into the smallest space available and call that a good cuddle.
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We took it to the extreme. Our first date was a trip to another country with backpacks, a small tent, a bag of rice and one of those small gas stove. She cursed at me and the world on our first hiking trip, while sweating like a horse. She was in a terrible form and do not enjoy hiking trips.
We had to shower in the lakes, and they were cold AF, so… I did not present myself from my best side…
We also nearly died. But, we’ve been together for 10+ years now.
We stress tested the shit out of our relationship on that trip.
After our near death experience, we settled somewhere nice, but during that night we were hit by an hurricane and my tent broke, forcing me to stay up all night, holding it together, while she slept. It was a special date.
For a first date she willingly followed someone out of the country and into the wilderness‽ It sounds like it worked out well in the end but was she trying to end up as a missing person?
You two sound like a couple of fuckin maniacs, thanks for taking each other off the market for the rest of us!
Holy shit maniacs. My wifes first time meeting my family we went to meet them at a state park campsite and the cabin didnt have room for us. We slept cuddled up freezing on two camp chairs facing each other. She was a trooper and we’ve been married 16 years tomorrow…
Happy anniversary and I hope the same person was not on logistics for any family gatherings after that
We are not normal, and don’t strive to be it either. We also don’t think any of us could find another partner, so we will most likely be off the market forever. You are welcome.
That sounds so memorable. I’d rather have that than any “perfect” date.
Thanks. It was a really awesome trip, and we just got really close really early on, and we just knew at point, that we liked each other a lot. And we have some really funny and great memories from 6 days in the “wilderness”.
