Most web sites have a more promotional attitude towards their product descriptions. I guess big Newton Pippin industrial complex lost out to more well funded nazi apple propaganda.
More people need to try Opal Gold apples.
Isn’t that the website that gives granny smith a rating far lower than it deserves?
Apples are so interesting because the old ones were definitely pretty bland, and not for eating fresh. More for cooking into pies, or cider. But also we’ve experienced some apple enshittification due to mass marketing/long distance shipping. Imo peak apple varietals for direct eating are ones that were popular in the 1920’s/30’s; in the context of the USA, these mean the orchards planted by New Deal/CCC operations are usually a good bet. Where I live there are a bunch of abandoned, semi-feral orchards from this era and it rules.
What a joke of a site they don’t even have a ranking for my favorite apple. Liberty (NY 55140-19) are great eating apples. The only problem with them: they’re only in season once a year.
That’s how seasons work, ideally.
Honeycrisp or GTFO.
Someone explain to me why Red Delicious is still a thing in a world of Cosmic Crisp?
Is it still a thing? I thought they moved most of the existing red delicious rootstock over to cosmic crisp branches. And I also think the transition takes time, so there might still be stragglers. Cosmic crisp is less than a decade old.
Beats me but all these old dry bags of sawdust are still being offered in all the groceries I’ve been to.
“Tradition”? Just like beating your children.
You’re right! I just finished beating them now. Wait, I don’t have any kids, whose kids are these?
Came here for the apple love. Stayed for the absolute hate and vitriol.
Can you truly love one type of apple if you aren’t furious at lesser apples that come up short?
These fuckers rate pink lady a 90 but give granny smith a 57 and lemonade apples a 63? Lost their fucking minds; pink lady are just decent and are only saved by their price point. Can’t even compete with modern hit-or-miss honeycrisp. No way in fuck are they the third-best apple variety.
Yeah, no shit lemonade apples don’t taste like you’re drinking lemonade. That’s a problem for like the first one you eat if you’re really susceptible to marketing, after which you can just enjoy them for what they are: a solidly above-average apple with a unique background lemony flavor that are fun to mix in with other apples.
The granny smith, meanwhile, is a fantastic pie apple and a great sour apple, and most of the review is spent whining endlessly about slightly thick skin (literally good for you, arguably one of an apple’s few advantages health-wise over other fruits) and dense flesh. This rating in particular is deranged.
Edit: Holy shit, they rated pink lady a 3.5/5 on tartness. In what universe?? In. What. Fucking. Universe. It’s got practically zero tartness.
Also, complete double standards. Granny smith gets basically its entire review dedicated to denigrating dense flesh and thick skin, but pink lady with its thick skin and dense flesh is called “dense enough to hammer a nail” by its review, and yet these two factors are only treated as mediocre on the bar graph whereas granny smith got a fat fucking 0 for both. What a hypocritical load of shit.
Granny Smith is an absolute disgrace ! As flaky as my [insert vulgarity here] and no bloody taste at all. Are y’all tastebuds used to eating raw corndog or what ? On the other hand Pink Lady is an absolute banger, sweet, juicy, firm and heavenly.
I respect your rant, but Pink Lady fucking slaps.
This is the kind of Opinionated Internet Discourse I want to see more of in the world.
I love your dedication to Granny Smith, and I support you in your rant.
I fucking love granny smith. Best apple ever. Juicy, slightly sour, a touch tart, perfectly refreshing on a hot summer day.
I’ve always found pink lady to be weird. It’s just so flavourless, the flesh consistency is like wet, gravelly sand, and it gets mushy so fast…
How would a pomaceous connoisseur such as yourself explain the difference between sour and tart to an uncouth swine such as myself?
Tartness is just on the tip of the tongue, sourness is everywhere in the mouth.
Tart = good palate cleanser, gets you ready for the next thing
Sour = everything you eat after tastes sour, too
It’s like the difference between having an air of mystery and a sense of je ne sais quoi.
I like granny smiths but you and I must be getting different pink ladies. For me they’re crisp and bright, sweet and just a touch tart.
I too, am a fan of the granny
Tech. What’s really bothering you isn’t the opinion content, is it? It’s the editorial sloppiness of the place. The applerankings world needs you.
What the fuck kind of pink ladies have you been eating (ooh err matron etc.)? They should be pretty tart, not the tartest apple in the world but 3.5/5 seems fair to me.
What the fuck kind of pink ladies have you been eating
Ones that are very slightly tart, and given the tight licensure, I’m not willing to grant loose quality control like I do for honeycrisp for why they don’t live up to this alleged true potential.
And Fuji were “Horse Food” and are now “Barely worth it”! Totally do not agree with their palate, love their dedication and sharpness!
I’d steal a fuji apple. I would use other apples as a throwing weapon
I was gonna say, Fuji are incredible, homie has a weird palette for sure. Best I’ve had out of the 20 or so I’ve tried
Pink lady is my favorite. Pretty darn tart, I would say.
Oh yay, I get to address my two favorite common misconceptions about the colonial US at once.
There is an element of truth in the assertion that Ben Franklin owned slaves, but it’s mostly untrue. He participated in what he was taught to do from an early age, but seeing the effects of slavery first hand changed his mind. He spent the rest of his life as one of that era’s most outspoken critics against slavery, even purchasing a printing press to print anti-slavery brochures and pamphlets.
https://benjaminfranklinhouse.org/education/benjamin-franklin-and-slavery/
George Washington’s wooden teeth are a myth. Wood teeth certainly existed, but were extremely uncommon and only used by people who had nothing else. Most commonly, dentures of that era were made from ivory, animal teeth, or cadaver teeth.
In May of 1784, Washington paid several unnamed slaves 122 shillings (£6.10, equivalent to $195 in 2025) for a total of nine teeth to be implanted by a French doctor, who became a frequent guest on the plantation over the next few years.
your list is missing a fourth category
Yeah, he didn’t have wooden teeth, he had slave’s teeth, teeth he got from slaves that he did own but because he was vewy sowy it doesn’t count.
“He wasn’t a slave owner! He just owned slaves, dumbass!”
Maybe it was their favorite apple because it’s excellent for cider production?
Fun site, but ranking Pink Lady higher than Braeburn should be considered a mental disorder.
Got curious. Opened the apple ranking. Checked Granny Smith. Closed the apple ranking.
Utterly useless.
Granny Smith is the AI-Art of Apples. Looks too much like an apple, tastes just almost like an apple, some people love it, but must of us know it’s bland, boring an uninspired.
bland
I know people who can’t take a bite without grimacing because they’re so sour. You can say a lot about Granny Smiths, but not that they taste like nothing.
Banter off English is not my first language and I thought “bland” could be used as the opposite of “rich” in the context of food.
Banter on Crying because you got pepper sprayed at your wedding doesn’t mean your emotional. Sour does not equal depth. comparing Granny Smith to actual apples is like comparing concentrated vinegar to well made Balsamico.
Ahhh yes battery acid apples. Much flavour and complexity
Lol. You’re not wrong! I love sour things. Sour is fun. And tbh, most other apples are bland in this regard. If not for Granny Smiths I would probably hardly eat apples all that often.
I guess you just don’t like apples. Just eat vinegar-soaked XPS-foam.
Not crispy enough.
Fair
The most disappointing apple I’ve ever had was an Arkansas black (or might’ve been Alabama black). Cosmetically it’s a gorgeous apple. Nice and round and a deep shade a red, like what you’d expect to see used as a prop in a Snow White production. But when you bite into it it’s a sandy, mealy disgrace.
Oddly that’s the apple now ranked as Vomitous Filth
Lmfao
It’s like a flavorless Macintosh
I love the apple rankings site but remain ever a Honeycrisp ho. I never liked apples until one day I was pregnant and hungry and at Target they had out samples of apple - out of desperation I grabbed one and holy crap, it was everything an apple should be, nothing like anything I’d had before, and I worked at a natural foods store, we got the pink lady and cripps and gala, it’s not like I had not tried to like apples.
It will ever be the Honeycrisp, the platonic ideal. Perfectly sweet, perfectly tart, and can be cooked in pies and taste good. I don’t need any other apple. My coworker prefers the Cosmic Crisp but I don’t.
I don’t know how widely available it is outside of Minnesota (Honeycrisp was invented here) but there’s a Honeycrisp hard cider called Loon Juice, it’s pretty good. I also saw a jug of non alcoholic cider made from them at the grocery store a few days ago.
OMG I see this is at our Total Wine. I will get some for our Halloween party for sure.
Yeah i was going to say i was the same as you then fell in love with cosmic crisp. Also ambrosia are great too, but if you found your apple love there’s nothing to change! I’m glad you found one you liked. I used to hate apples too after trying granny smith and red delicious. The first was insanely sour and not appetizing and the second was mushy apple shaped pulp board.
Fun fact: I live right near where granny smiths were invented (Eastwood in Northern Sydney). I’d like to sincerely apologise to the world on behalf of my city’s contribution.
Freshly pressed granny smith mixed with polish bison grass vodka is an absolute delight
Yet more evidence that Granny smith apples are ingredients and are not fit for human consumption without modification
