You know how expensive cremation costs are?
Don’t Teslas have the highest crash fatality stats on the road or something? Terrible company.
Cybertrucks are 17 times more likely to kill you in a fiery way than the Ford Pinto, the previous record holder.
https://www.motherjones.com/politics/2025/02/report-cybertruck-safety-ford-pinto/
I’m not in any way trying to downplay how bad the cyber-dumpster is, but is that an adequate sample size to extrapolate the fiery-death rate? The article says 17 times the rate of the Pinto, but it was only 5 total fires.
I mean they made millions of Pintos so yeah
Different person, but the Pinto controversy was overblown. Media hype made it an issue when it had similar incident rates with other vehicles at the time.
Ford Pinto - Wikipedia https://share.google/A9xMle5N02j1gPmCl
The biggest issue with the Pinto was not the Pinto itself, it was how Ford discussed the potential issues with it internally. It was their very well documented preference for money over protecting human life that caused the controversy.
We know this really happens all the time, at all companies and in all industries, but Ford was punished for saying the quiet part out loud (amongst themselves) and getting caught doing it. We are all supposed to at least put on a show of human lives being more important than money, and Ford failed to put on the show, and for that they were punished.
We still don’t care about human life, but at least we all felt better about it afterwards.
Well, see, that’s what you get for being a poor.
Solution is simple, you must buy the optional $700 Cyberhammer to bash out the glass (not a joke, there really is a cyber hammer for $700).
Elon’s got it all figured out, 8D chess losers
ouch oof my bones
Fires that entrap passengers are a well-documented and recurring problem with every model in Tesla’s lineup of vehicles, but Cybertrucks appear to have a disproportionate number of known deaths. Safety experts have told the Guardian that the truck’s unique design amplifies the deadly issue. The vehicles come with high-density laminated windows that are harder to break than regular car windows, making escape and rescue difficult when doors won’t unlock. And the trucks are built with materials not commonly used in the industry, like stainless steel, which can complicate the work of emergency responders. The Cybertruck is also the first Tesla model to entirely eliminate door handles on the outside of the vehicle.
First, “unique” design? It’s an ugly callback to the wedge-shaped cars of the 80s. It looks like a DeLorean model that refused to render properly, and the dev just went with it.
Second, the decision to exclude door handles is fucking mental. It’s a mundane feature that cars have had since the Model T. If they wanted to make a pickup, its handles should resemble those found on a typical pickup. If it’s “aesthetics” they’re after (which shouldn’t matter when it comes to a pickup), some of the best looking cars have had no problem including door handles into its design.
The reason to eliminate door handles that Tesla and others typically give is aerodynamic efficiency. Granted there are other bigger aerodynamic problems. gestures at the rest of the fucking truck
Sounds like a great way to fake your death. The only problem is that everyone will think you died driving a Tesla.
Good point. Back to the drawing board.
No one’s going to believe a drawing board disappeared a body.
Ehhh, you’d be surprised what the modern drawing board can do.
I present you the drAIwing board, our latest break through!
It… also costs
100kEdit: sorry, sorry, 70k — much better
I mean if you’re faking your death I don’t think you’re planning on paying off the loan
I don’t understand why it doesn’t have a door handle. I don’t get it
Think like Steve Jobs. No buttons.
okay but it’s a car so it needs buttons and levers and stuff
Tell that to Elon.
no, I don’t want to talk to him
If I’m close enough to talk to him, I’m punching him.
Reminder to keep one of those window breaker hammers in your car.
Also don’t buy cars from megalomaniacal nazis.
Just to be clear so people don’t think they are protected when they’re not: those window strikers ONLY work if your car windows are TEMPERED glass. They are 100% useless on laminated glass. The Cybertruck’s “unbreakable Armor Glass” is laminated.
At this point if you’re still driving a swasticar, you deserve it.
Hey hey, just few years ago lefties were religiously buying teslas made by their prophet. What changed?
POINT AND LAUGH
I do this every time I see one of those dorks driving one around.
Free cremation — it’s a service!
It will be monetised soon enough
Popup on the screen:
Your Tesla is on fire, escape is no longer possible as your subscription to “Escape Hatch” has expired. In order to enable “FlameOn ™ mode” for rapid immolation, please approve the one time payment of $4,206.90
These horrific deaths and injuries are tragic. I see too many schadenfreude comments here approving of people dying just because they chose to drive a vehicle most people don’t like. If there is blame, it is not on the victims, but on Tesla and the regulators we trust to ensure minimum and obvious safety features.
Anybody that bought a cyber truck did so knowing full well Elon is a Nazi. They made their bed and now they can lie in it. No compassion at all for these selfish fucks.
Anybody that bought a cyber truck did so knowing full well Elon is a Nazi.
The cybertruck was available to buy before he went full mask off. And not everyone is “in-touch” with everything.
No compassion at all
Disgusting.
Felon Muskrat went full mask off way back in 2016 when he called child rescuers a Pedo. Go pound sand.
Even further back than that, as a kid he got thrown down the stairs because he made fun of the dead father of another kid (who threw him down the stairs)
Perhaps if we were just talking Teslas in general, but the cybertruck? I can’t imagine any non-assholes buying and driving those. That thing is a statement, a fascist “own-the-libs” statement in particular.
anyone that bought a cybertruck did so knowing full well that it’s a giant “fuck everybody but me” vehicle
I have no sympathy for them. their victims, yes. the owner, not at all.
anyone that bought a cybertruck did so knowing full well that it’s a giant “fuck everybody but me” vehicle
That’s how many people see it, but I know a few people that are entirely disconnected from “celeb culture” and the news in general, and just think the cybertruck is neat technology. And to be fair, putting aside the massive safety issues with it, it does have noteworthy technology that on their own are interesting.
And I think the cross section of people who are interested in the cybertruck, people who are not particularly intelligent, and who also have money are generally going to be the customer base. It’s fine to criticize, but to say “no sympathy” when they die is gross.
sorry I should have added the alternative option of “is ignorant of the fact and should be expected to be able to figure that out”
if somebody won’t think of how their actions affect others, fuck them.
